To the Mom Like Me

I think it's safe to say, before I had Rilynn, I hadn't a clue what I was in for.  I wasn't sure what I was doing.  Sometimes I still feel that way.  The one thing that I try to remind myself and that I try to encourage new moms to do, is to trust the God-given instinct He gave mothers.  It's there.  I promise.  (I thought people were nuts when they kept telling me to trust my motherly instincts)

Also, along with these instincts, there are certain things that just work for my family that might not work for others.  And THAT'S OK.

There's just always been this one thing we did with Ri that I wish, looking back, I didn't.  I don't carry any burden of regret. It's more like "oh, bummer..."

I wish I never made her cry it out.

Before I proceed, let's expand on what I mean by "cry it out"; because I think this means different things to different people. For me, I feel it means to purposely allow your baby (and I mean baby, not approaching a year old) to cry...even hard at times...in the hopes they'll learn how to self-soothe.  This is done at times when there is nothing else keeping mom (or someone else) from holding the baby.

I thought that if I wanted a well-adjusted, independent child, I HAD to let her cry it out.

A few things I've learned:

1.  Babies are needy.  They're born that way, and by design.

2.  Babies can't talk.  They can only communicate through crying.

3.  There are plenty of opportunities for a baby to "cry it out" when mom can't hold baby, especially if this is a subsequent child.  For example, mom REALLY needs a shower or mom may need to eat something before she passes out.  There are many other examples, but you get my point, right?

All this to say, it doesn't bother some moms as much to let their babies cry.  And THAT'S OK.  I'm a big believer in doing what's right for you and your family.

So anyway, with Kaylee, I tried doing things a little differently.  When she was two months old and I'd put her down in bed for a nap or at night and she'd cry, I'd pick her up and try again later.

**Let me say and be very clear, if there was a point where I felt overwhelmed, I did put her down.  And she did cry until I could gain my composure.  Let's remember it's safe for both mom and baby to take a break if needed.**

I soon discovered she didn't require as much sleep as I thought.  Usually, I'd try again later and she'd gladly take a nap.  In fact, I noticed that she never seemed to cry when I put her down at night - only at nap time.  This was probably due to the fact that she wasn't always tired and ready for a nap.  But by the end of the day, she was ready to sleep.  And then, I started nursing her to sleep for nap times. And guess what?  She didn't always need to nurse to sleep like I thought.

Pretty soon, I stopped looking at the clock before I fed her.  I started offering her to nurse whenever she was upset.  If she was just tired, she'd actually push me away.  Or she may nurse and fall asleep and then I'd put her in her bed.  Sometimes she just wanted to be held, so I held her.  Because I wanted to.

So, back to my title: Dear Mom Like Me,

IF you don't want to, you don't HAVE to make your baby cry when you could otherwise comfort them.  It won't ruin them forever.  In fact - and if you're like me, this is for you - it made me less stressed out when I didn't try to adhere to what my friends or books were saying but simply did what I wanted to do at that particular time...what I thought was best for both myself and my baby.

Sure, I understand all babies are different.  And perhaps when the baby is older, there may be a habit or two you may need to break.  But every parent probably has a habit they will eventually need to break their kids of (sucking thumb, using a paci, having to have "white noise" to sleep", gotta be dark to go to sleep, gotta have a night light to go to sleep, etc, etc).

There does come a point where they won't need those things anymore.  But in the beginning - IF you want - hold that baby!  Nurse them to sleep.  Let them take a cat nap on your chest.  Enjoy them! - do whatever you (and your husband) feel is best.  Who knows, maybe you are like me and you'll find yourself less stressed and enjoying those first few months more than ever before!

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go get my daughter's "lovie" off the clothesline so she'll take a nap.  :)

Day at the Lake

We LOVE Lake Jocassee.  It's our favorite.  It's the furthest away but we think it's worth the drive.  :)

Yesterday, we went up with my parents.  Septtro works with a guy who has a small John boat so we borrowed that. Here are some pictures from our day:

Ri commonly will ask for me to put Cakes in the crib with her when she wakes up. They are playing a lot better together.

Gammie and Ri heading down to the water. 

 Cakes sitting in the shade with me  :)

Ri taking a kayak ride with Gammie

This baby LOVES the water!!!

It was about 2:00 at this point and the boat ride was quite soothing for Ri - enough that she fell asleep...a pretty deep sleep!

Septtro and I went exploring by ourselves on the boat

Ri is definitely a land lover.  Although she did get brave enough to let Papa help her swim a little.

                                       Cakes' turn in the kayak!

Playin with my girls

She had SO much fun!  And she even napped in the Pea Pod after several attemps - well worth the money we paid when we found it on clearance on Target!  :)

Cheesin!

KayK's life jacket was a little big.  :)

Playin on the boat

We explored and found a pretty decent waterfall (which I know you can't see in this picture).

You can tell how far down the lake is.  It's still a beautiful lake!  See all that nasty pollen curled up towards the shore?  Ick!

See that small trickle of water over Septtro's shoulder?  That's part of the waterfall.  Hey it was enough to excite a two and half year old.  :)

She was quite nervous when Septtro first put her up on this rock.  She's a very cautious little girl - like her Momma.  But she got pretty comfortable after a while.

Throwing rocks in the water - one of Ri's favorite things to do.

I love this picture!

I must admit, I was a little nervous how the girls would do. Ri has always been good about sleeping whenever she was tired - wherever she is. But Kaylee isn't so inclined.  But after wearing her out pretty good, she did finally conk out for a while in her Pea Pod.  Both girls were fast asleep on the way home.  We didn't get home until around 9:00pm due to some boat issues but even after waking up and getting baths, they went right to bed again.  It was a BIG day for all of us!  I'm so thankful we got to make these memories together!!

My girl

I love that she'll hold my hand just for no reason. I hope she'll always want to.

Fleeting Moments

I had a lot planned today. Ri was gonna be my helper. But this is my day instead. And I'm ok with that. :)

KayK was up every 3 hours last night. Since she's been born, she's NEVER gotten up that many times at night. (for the past week she has been sleeping 10-12 hours). She went right back to sleep each time. She also ate each time but I'm not sure if that's because she was really hungry or maybe she's cutting her top teeth.

Regardless, I'm trying to soak in every second and not worry about all the other more "productive" things I could be doing. Even though she's only 7 months old, she rarely cuddles with me. These moments are already few and far between. And as someone once told me, I'm never gonna look back and say, "I wish I would have had a cleaner house". But I may look back and wish I would have welcomed more of these moments.

Look Alikes!!!!

I found a picture of Septtro's dad, mom, and two older sisters. As soon as I saw it, I thought both my girls looked A LOT like each of his sisters.

I think Kaylee looks like Shirley (the younger one towards the middle of the picture)

I think Rilynn looks like Sheivon (oldest sister towards the far right of the picture)

What do you think??

My Favorite View of the Day (so far)

Serving at The Nursing Home

If I've learned one positive thing from watching TV (no, no hear me out - I'm serious), it's that I could sure do a better job at serving others. And it doesn't even have to be expensive or take a lot of time. That's what I've learned from TLC's "19 Kids and Counting". They're constantly looking for ways to serve others and they've instilled that in their children.

So, takin a chapter from their book, we decided it'd be good to have Ri pass out candy at my grandma's nursing home. As much as the Christmas season has become all about receiving, we'd like to at least try to help our kids see it's not all about them.

My mom brought Santa hats and bells and my nephews came along too with peppermints in tow! I helped Ri practice saying "Merry Christmas!" - she did pretty good and she didn't even try to take the candy for herself! A few of the residents were beyond thrilled - one even asking for Ri to hop on the bed with her (bless her heart) but Ri wasn't down with that so she settled for blowing kisses.

Afterwards, we headed to the nearby town's downtown to see the horse-pulled carriage rides and discovered a train shop and a place that had all kinds of free kid-friendly activities.

I'm hoping to continue to find ways to serve others throughout the year - especially ones we can do as a family! Not only did we get to serve others, but we made some great memories!!

Sisters!!!!

I hope these two become the best of friends!

Our Christmas Card!

Shutterfly has some awesome designs for a Christmas card - here is ours (it's a folded card so there's more inside and on the back). They're doing a special now for 40% off and free shipping on orders over $30!

Of course, I HAD to use pictures by Naisang Photography!! :)

Picture This Christmas Card

Custom Christmas cards are always available at Shutterfly.com.

View the entire collection of cards.

Prefolds and Cloth Diapering

So I admit. When I was first looking at doing cloth diapers, I was terrified of the traditional prefolds with covers. You know..the ones where you wrapped the cloth around the baby, pinned, and put on rubber pants?

And so I went with pocket diapers. We had a good relationship even though it took a while for me to figure out how to correctly stuff and snap on the diaper without leaks - as well as figuring out a good wash routine. I started using cloth diapers on Rilynn when she was just over a year old. Once I figured it out, I wished I would have started sooner!

I knew I wanted to use cloth diapers when Kaylee was born but I held off until she was about 2 1/2 months old. But when I tried to put her in my pocket diapers, I realized they weren't fitting her well. Perhaps part of it was because of the snaps (velcro gives a better fit - simliar to a disposable but it also wears faster). Perhaps it was the brand. But I found I no longer liked my pocket diapers.

After doing research, I decided to try prefolds. *GASP!* Yes, I know. But turns out, they're actually not as scary as I originally thought. And they're A LOT cheaper!!

Here's what I'm doing now:

There are different sizes of prefolds -therefore giving a better fit depending on the size and age of your baby. I use "small" prefolds and simply fold over into thirds, place in a Thirsties Duo cover, and you're good to go!

At this point, you would just put the diaper on like you would a disposable. They do have the covers with snaps but like I said before, I feel velcro gives the best fit because you don't have to rely on where the snaps are located to fasten the diaper.

This is great for smaller babies that aren't moving around much or crawling. Once they get a little mobile, the prefold may move around too much inside the cover so then it's good to do some types of folds and fasten with a Snappi (no more safety pins!).

Currently, I am practicing the angel wing fold. It does take some practice but I haven't had any leaks even while learning.

Now I feel like prefolds and covers are actually easier than my pocket diapers!
With Cotton Babies' Econobum system, you can buy enough covers and prefolds to use from newborn to potty training for just under $100! Their covers have snaps which aren't my preference, but one of my friends let me borrow one of the covers and I found there were more snaps so I was able to get a good fit on Kaylee.

So then what else would you need if you used the prefold system? If you're really trying to save on cost, the only other thing you'd need is some type of wetbag. You could get a 13 gallon trashcan with a lid and line it with a pail liner like this one. Also, to save on the cost of wipes, just buy some baby washcloths and either run under warm water before changing or you can make your own solution with some baby soap and water, pour over a stack in an empty wipes case, and they're already ready to go. This way, everything goes in the pail liner instead of having to separate disposable wipes from your cloth diaper laundry.

Everybody always seems to ask - with disgusted looks on their faces - "But what do you do with the, ya know, poop?" :) The great part about cloth diapering a newborn who is breastfed is that there is no rinsing needed. It's water soluable so everything comes out fine in the rinse cycle. Once the child is on solids, you can dunk the old fashioned way or use a diaper sprayer (I have the Mini-Shower Spray Wand and love it). For me, a diaper sprayer was well worth the investment. If you have a bathroom set up where the toilet is near the tub, you can just get an extra long, detachable shower head.

Of course, any of these expenses could be a baby shower gift - so keep that in mind. And also remember, cloth diapering is a business and like anything - especially having to do with babies - you can get a little carried away. There are luxuries and there are necessities.

I absolutely LOVE cloth diapering and I honestly haven't met anyone who does it who doesn't love it; which is what made me curious enough to try it. It's really not scary and icky and difficult. There might be a learning curve, but I think it's well worth it! So c'mon, just give it a try!!

Mission Accomplished!

So this is what my house looked like all day. I couldn't seem to ever get it looking anywhere close to clean. And then I began to think to myself, "I've done nothing productive all day!"

But alas, I HAVE been produtive. Because my first job and responsibility is training and caring for my children, and I've been doing that all day!

I'm in the midst of potty training; this is our second week. Ri is improving. But it's definitely taking longer than I had hoped. And if you've ever potty trained, you know that's a job in itself. This is hard stuff!

So my house may still be dirty. But my kids are fed, clean (ok, for the most part they're clean), safe, happy, and loved. Plus, Ri actually used the potty a few times! I've had a very busy, productive day!

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Happy Fall!!!

My friend Kelli recently took some great pictures of my lil punkins in some pretty cute hats.

Check out more of Kelli's photos on her blog and check out some more of Ellie's creations at Magpie Boutique - both also on Facebook! :)

Apple Picking!!

We went apple picking at Justus Apple Orchard in Hendersonville, NC last weekend. Here are a few pictures:



This is how Ri spent a good bit of her time at the orchard.



Gettin an apple!



Ri annointing Evan with holy hay.



We had to end the day with a fire in our backyard - complete with smores!